And I'll take an Iced Latte please...

Okay, I said I wanted to try writing you letters. So I'm going to try this method. Sometimes I may pick a random topic related to me or us and just write about my thoughts and feelings for said topic.

 So for starters, I think I'll pick...

 COFFE...

 I don't love coffee. I think it taste bitter and I 99% of the time I cannot relate to people when they say 'I can't function without coffee.' Multiple cups of coffee a day is like saying, 'hmmm... I think I'd like to be sick. What can I do to deprive myself of sleep, and feel shaky and nauseas all at once? I know, I'll drink a cup of coffee! If I drink it black it'll taste like burnt crap!'

 But I do occasionally like and enjoy drinking a cup of cream and sugar-laced coffee. It's the experience. The joy of sitting with someone I care about and sipping away on a strong flavored drink can be compared to watching fireworks, or floating down the river. These experiences are fine and wonderful by themselves, but they become something memorable end wonderful when they are with someone else.

 When I choose to have a drink of coffee it's my way of saying 'this moment is going to be something more than mundane, possibly even exciting!' A warm drink makes me feel cozy. Drinks on ice are invigorating and exciting. Meaning I get invigorated and excited. Sometimes a really good drink (like a Dutch Bros Kahlua Kicker), in the right environment can even be a bit aphrodisiac-like. For example, going on a car ride, or heading over to friends... It sets a mood before anything happens. I don't love coffee, it's not my air. I wouldn't want one every day. But sometimes I love the experience and company that comes come with a really good latte or other (de)caffeinated drink!

 *please make note: aphrodisiac-like response to an iced latte is not the same as a sugar rush! I'll explain those another topic when I discuss s'mores and making memories.

 RECAP... In case of any confusion I'm going to risk it here and write a bit more to make sure everything is spelled out clear... Occasionally I like to drink coffee with you. Why? When it's with you, it's because I'm in love. It's because I actually do like a wee bit of romance. You love coffee. So when I drink coffee with you I'm taking in something you love - even it's just another hot drink to you. There are drinks I really do like. And when I drink them there's always a flood of good memories associated with them. (Even if I'm alone running errands I'll only get the 'feel-really-good-memory-make' drinks.) Friendliness. Kindness. Love. Maybe that's where the tingly excitement that's near sexual comes from. 

So when you occasionally buy me a drink and I say 'thank you;' truthfully I haven't said the fullness of what it means to me. And also I guess why it stings a bit when you buy a drink for others and not me, if I'm going to be honest here, although I never made the connection until now. When I say 'thank you,' this is what I mean: Thank you for thinking of me, for letting me share something YOU love, for letting me feel excited and giddy even, and for letting me feel completely loved by you, and for letting me love and appreciate you more.